Thoughts: Between Mom and Jo by Julie Ann Peters

began reading: 9/22/09
finished reading: 9/22/09
genre: YA
recommended by: Amanda

Between Mom and Jo, the 2007 Children’s/Young Adult Lambda Literary Award winner, is Nicholas Nathaniel Thomas Tyler’s story from toddlerhood to adolescence of his experience growing up with two moms and struggling through the aftermath of their break-up. Nick, as he’s known to his nearest and dearest, is a precocious but endearing narrator who just wants the best for his moms.

As the title relays, he refers to one parent as Mom and the other as Jo, which threw me a bit. Neither parent seemed progressive enough to warrant being on a first-name-basis with their son, and it seemed the “first name” versus “mom” titles were used purposely to highlight the rift between Erin, the birth mother, and Jo, the non-biological mother. While these titles were somewhat effective in implying tensions between Erin and Jo over their parental status with Nick, they were not very realistic.

I generally avoid reviewing books with gay themes (despite actively identifing as queer, having previously identified as a lesbian, and being particularly interested in GLBT storylines) because I get a little nit-picky and maybe overly-sensitive about how GLB and/or T people are portrayed in novels. There are just too many surprise!rape and surprise!abuse and surprise!misery themes that depress me. Well, I actually avoid reading them altogether and stick to non-fiction, unless the novel is by a writer I’m familiar with. (I sobbed the first time I watched But I’m a Cheerleader, and it’s a comedy. With a happy ending.)

Further disclosure: I’ve been working on this post for over two weeks now because I’ve been trying to figure out how to convey how much I really did appreciate Between Mom and Jo while being honest to my objections. Instead of just waiting for that to happen, I’ve decided to label this as “thoughts” instead of a “review.”

A Minute Detail that Made Me a Little Crazy: Jo tells Nick at one point that she “hates unions.” Huh?

A Major Detail that Made Me a Little Crazy: Despite being far superior at parenting than Erin in most respects, Jo is constantly teasing Nick for being a sissy, a pansy, a wimp. Her emphasis on adhering to strict gender roles for her son was particularly frustrating, especially since she does not exactly adhere to them herself.


Something That Is Not Okay, Ever: Nick has a moment where he thinks he might be gay. Jo tells him no, of course he’s not. He accepts this without question. YOU CAN’T DECIDE SOMEONE ELSE’S SEXUALITY, even your own child (regardless of their age), even if you are gay.
 

Grade: A- (Bonus points for Erin not ending up with a man at the end, no one dying, and no one being beaten up for being gay. These things come up all too frequently in books with GLBT themes, and I was glad Peterson avoided them here.)

Recommended: It’s a cute, well-written book, but please keep in mind that being gay does not necessarily mean you are constantly harassed, facing homophobia, dealing with alcoholism, or being a general bee eye tee see h. 

Related Reading: After finishing this, I was inspired to read Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All, a collection of essays edited by Hazel Aizley that I’ve been meaning to get to for a while. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I might have because, to be honest, breast feeding freaks me out and there is a lot of breast feeding discussion to be found here; BUT I think the real life experiences of non-biological moms make it an excellent companion to Between Mom and Jo in order to more fully understand Jo’s experience. As a side note, I was pleasantly surprised to find an essay by the blogger of Lesbian Dad, a blog I have been following for a couple years now and really enjoy. Again, I might be a bit biased, but her essay was my favorite in the compilation.